The 2011 EWL Pitch King
Guthrie of the Caucasians Vaginas has been named the 2011 EWL Pitch King after receiving an overwhelming majority of first-place votes. The Pitch King award recognizes the best pitcher throughout the EWL regular season.
Guthrie utilized the ClawBall to consisently confuse batters throughout the 2011 season
Guthrie, master of the ClawBall, dominated the second-half of the regular season, carrying the Caucasians to the 2011 EWL Pennant. He started 9 games, winning 7, losing 1, and getting 1 no-decision. He went (7-1) on the season with a 1.48 ERA. His total of 7 wins was second best in the league, and his .875 winning percentage was the best in the league. He gave up only 38 hits in 46 IP for a 0.83 WHIP, second best in the league. He led the league in strikeouts with 7, had the second best K/9, and he gave up only 11 home runs, the lowest of any Pitch King contender. His opponents hit .297 off him, the second lowest in the league. He didn’t give up more than 4 ER in any appearance this season, and holds the league record for consecutive shutout innings at 13. In his only loss of the season, Guthrie gave up only 3 ER and was outdueled 3-2. He went 3-0 in his final three appearances of the season, giving up only 5 ER on 9 hits in 15 IP. The Caucasians led the league in almost every pitching category, in large part due to Guthrie’s dominant performance on the mound.
Guthrie secured 8 first-place votes, by far the most, and 12 overall votes, second most in the league. He finished second in league votes, but moved to first in overall voting after the commissioner vote was placed.
Joey, of the Fish Sticks, finished second in Pitch King voting. He received 7 second-place votes, 4 third-place votes, and 14 overall votes, all league highs. He led the league in wins with 8, had the fifth lowest ERA in the league, and gave up the second fewest HR among Pitch King finalists. He finishes with the most league votes, and finished second to Guthrie after the commissioner vote was included.
Chris, of 4 out of 5 Dentists, finished third in overall voting. He had the second highest first and second place votes, at 3 and 5 votes, respectively. He took the league by storm, starting 6-0 in his first 6 starts before finishing with a loss and no-decision in his final two starts, two costly games for the Dentists. Chris finished 6-1 on the year, and was second in winning percentage at .857. His 5 strikeouts were good for second in the league, and his 1.71 ERA was third in the league. Opponents hit only .281 off of him, the lowest opposing batting average in the league, and his 0.78 WHIP was tops in the league as well.
Guthrie, Joey, and Chris received a majority of the Pitch King votes and were in the upper tier of vote-getters. Ron of the Dentists, who finished fourth, and Dinger of the Fish Sticks, who finished fifth, were in a second tier of vote-getters before there was a large drop-off. Ron tied for second most overall votes at 12, and his 4 fourth-place votes were the most in the league. Dinger tied for the third most overall votes with 11, and his 6 fifth-place votes were the most in the league. Gaurav was the only player not in the top five in voting to receive a first-place vote.
Commissioner Note: I don’t understand how Guthrie or Chris were left off any ballots. 3 people didn’t place a vote for Guthrie, and 4 didn’t place a vote for Chris. They were by far the two best pitchers in the league, with Joey in the conversation, but barely. It makes me wonder if these voters paid attention to any games or statistics. Also, someone voted only for first-place, meaning there were only 14 second, third, fourth, and fifth place votes. This also happened for Field Masters and Wiffler of the Year.
HEY THIS IS YODA AND IM HERE TO SAY THAT THIS GUTHRIE FOOL CAN’T EVEN PITCH!!!!! I SERIOUSLY CHALLENGE ANY OF YOU BUSH LEAGUE FOOLS TO A WIFFLE BALL DUEL IN MY LEAGUE!!!! YOU GUYS COULDN’T HANG THOUGH, WE ACTUALLY PLAY FAST PITCH!!!! LOSERS!!!!!
This is a proud day for Guthries everywhere.
And I’d challenge this Yoda fool to try and hit the Claw Ball. Strike out city.