Inaugural All-EWL Team Named, Caucasians and Fish Sticks Selected

19 Jul

The 2011 All-EWL Team

Blose and Joey of the Fish Sticks along with Morrison and Guthrie of the Caucasian Vaginas have been named to the first ever All-EWL Team, recognizing the top all-around players throughout the 2011 regular season. The four players received a significant portion of the votes, enough to separate the four from all other finalists.

Blose was dominant offensively and defensively throughout the 2011 season

It’s no surprise to see that Blose has been named to the All-EWL Team. He was an unstoppable force at the plate throughout the majority of the regular season, and carried his team defensively as well. He set single-season league records in nearly every offensive category, led the league in put-outs, and was the only player in the league to record a save (3 of them). He was the only two-time Pabst Blue Ribbon Wiffler of the Week, taking home the award for weeks 3 and 10. He won the batting title by 11 points, finishing the year at .490, one hit away from a .500 season. He slugged over 200 points better than any other player, due in large part to hitting 20 home runs, 4 more than any other player. He led the league in RBI with 30, and won the EWL Triple Crown, a feat that was not anticipated and may not occur again soon. He came through in the clutch, and at times was the only player on his team producing. He was an EWL star from week 1, and the 2011 season will be remembered for his statistical achievements and great plays.

Guthrie was clutch at the plate and unhittable on the mound

Guthrie, the 2011 EWL Pitch King, can add another badge to his 2011 season, as he is now a member of the All-EWL Team. Guthrie made his name on the mound, shutting down opposing teams as the Caucasians rode his arm to the pennant and #1 seed. But he was no slouch at the plate either. He finished in the top 10 in almost every major offensive category, but finished in the top 5 in only one category, GWRBI. That stat, however, best describes his offensive performance in 2011. When the Caucasians needed a big hit, Guthrie was there to deliver, often putting them over-the-top for the win. He hit safely in all but two games that he played in, and had three multi-HR games, including a game with 5 RBI. He missed six games this year, and had he have been able to play a full 20-game schedule, his offensive numbers surely would have been more impressive and competitive. When he was in the lineup, he was a tough out at the plate, a rock solid fielder, and the best pitcher the game has seen. His presence was crucial to the Caucasians success in 2011.

Morrison was an elite player and a model of consistency in 2011

No EWL player was more consistently productive throughout the course of the regular season than Morrison of the Caucasian Vaginas. Morrison hit safely in all but two of the nineteen games he played, and had 2 or more hits in 16 of the 19 games, a remarkable total. He had at least one home run every week of the entire season and didn’t strike out a single time, totaling by far the most at-bats of any player who didn’t strike out. Morrison was in the top 3 in every offensive category except doubles and triples, and was ranked 2nd or higher in an incredible 10 different categories. His 7 GWRBI were two more than any other player in the league, showing how regularly his performance at the plate led his team to victory. He finished 24 points higher in batting average than everyone in the league except Blose, he was one of three players to slug over 1.000, one of two players to hit over 15 home runs, and would have won the triple crown if not for Blose. He totaled 91 putouts, and was the foundation of the Caucasian defense. Morrison took the league by storm and turned the Caucasian Vaginas into the championship favorites.

Joey was the Robin to Blose's Batman for the Fish Sticks

Joey’s 2011 season was bookended by stretches of terrific offensive performances, with a dry spell in the middle, and solid pitching throughout. He started off the season on a tear, only to return to Earth midseason, and heat back up in time to help lead the Sticks to the #2 seed as the regular season schedule concluded. Joey carried a 14-game hitting streak into the final third of the season, and hit safely in 18 of 20 games. He finished in the top 5 of every single offensive category, over 12 different stats, and led the league in doubles. He finished 3rd to Blose and Morrison in five different categories including hits, runs, HR, RBI, and total bases. He was one of 5 players to hit over .400, and hit 20 points better than the next best player. He was the only player to hit double digit singles, doubles, and home runs, and his 4 GWRBI were third most in the league. He set a league record with wins on the mound, totaling 8, and finished with the league’s 5th lowest ERA. He was solid in the field, netting only 43 putouts but rarely committing an error.

The full vote tally will be posted tomorrow, as the same vote was used to determine Wiffler of the Year. Stay tuned.

4 Responses to “Inaugural All-EWL Team Named, Caucasians and Fish Sticks Selected”

  1. Blose July 19, 2011 at 1:11 am #

    Lacking a life you are. While waiting for each new post, into a tissue you blow your load.

    Yoda aside, I’m once again honored to be considered by my peers as one of the best. I can say that I tried my hardest to produce and I’m glad I could help my team win.

  2. Jody "Mr. Wiffleball" Garin July 25, 2011 at 9:47 pm #

    I feel inclined to leave a post regarding the renowned “Mr. Consistency” aka Anthony Morrison. Quite simply, I taught him virtually everything he knows with respect to the art of wiffleball. I should also add that he had the potential to have more doubles and triples in his youth, but his recent weight gain has suspended those hopes. At least he hasn’t informed his team of his “closet” liberal nature in spite of his crush on Michelle Bachmann – or is it Marcus?

    • ewlcommish July 26, 2011 at 8:56 pm #

      We need some wiffle-mentors and wiffle-senseis for next season

  3. youknoww July 27, 2011 at 1:41 am #

    The Wiffle Rat is my sensei

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