Tag Archives: Caucasian Vaginas

Blose Blast Lifts Fish Sticks to 2011 EWL Wiffle Series Championship

12 Aug

The 2011 EWL Wiffle Series Champions, the Fish Sticks

After losing a heartbreaking Game 5 to the Caucasian Vaginas, the Fish Sticks came back from a two-run deficit in Game 6 to win 3-2, clinching the first ever EWL title on a Blose walk-off home run in the bottom of the seventh inning.

The Caucasians took the 2011 EWL regular season by storm, cruising to the league’s best record the EWL pennant, and the #1 seed in the playoffs. Their dominance continued into the postseason, as they swept Pumice on Slow! in round 1, culminating in a perfect game thrown by the Pitch King Guthrie in Game 3. While the Caucasians waited for an opponent to reach the Wiffle Series, the Fish Sticks battled with 4 out of 5 Dentists in the other round 1 series. It took all 20 games for the Sticks to clinch the #2 seed and home-field advantage in round 1 with legendary win in the final game of the season. Their series with the Dentists was equally historic, as they came back from a 2-1 series deficit to win the final two games and advance to the Wiffle Series on a Vassallo walk-off homer in Game 5. They carried their momentum into the Wiffle Series, jumping out to a surprising 2-0 lead against the Caucasians, winning the opening two games on the road. The Caucasians pounded the Sticks in Game 3, but fell behind 3-1 in the series after losing Game 4. The Sticks were painstakingly close to winning the title in Game 5, but suffered an unforeseen collapse, and the Caucasians pushed the series to a sixth game. If they were able to win Game 6, Game 7 was to be played on Thursday, August 11th, to decide the 2011 EWL season.

Having started Guthrie in Game 4 and Les in Game 5, but with the inning-count reset after Game 4, it looked as if the Caucasians would return to Guthrie in Game 6 with their season on the line. The Caucasians were in a similar situation in Game 3, when they surprised the Fish Sticks by turning to Higgins to pitch, who pitched a complete game shutout in the Vaginas’ first win of the series. They utilized a similar strategy in Game 6, sending Frosty to the mound. Frosty hadn’t pitched in the entire postseason, and had last pitched June 7th when he took a no-decision after giving up 5 ER in a loss to the Dentists.

Joey had pitched 6.5 innings for the Sticks in Game 5 and had thrown all 14.5 combined innings of Games 4 and 5. He had 1.5 innings of eligibility left for Game 6, but the Sticks returned to Dinger. Dinger had won Game 1, pitching a complete game shutout and getting the Sticks off to a great start in the Wiffle Series. But he was hit hard in Game 3, taking the loss and setting records for runs and hits allowed in a playoff game. In addition to getting smacked around in Game 3, Dinger was fighting bronchitis and side-effects from medication. The Sticks would need him to fight through the symptoms to deliver a strong performance on the mound in Game 6.

He avoided early trouble in Game 6, retiring Guthrie for the first out of the inning. Morrison followed with a one-out single, but Dinger escaped the inning by retiring Les, who flew out to Joey in right field, stranding the runner at first.

Despite the long layoff between pitching appearances, Frosty appeared seasoned and ready to throw, retiring Blose and Dinger by groundout in the bottom of the first for a perfect start to the game.

Frosty started Game 6 for the Caucasians, his first pitching appearance in over 2 months

Frosty, who had been the most productive Caucasian at the plate in Games 4 and 5, helped himself out in the top of the second. He led off the inning with a solo bomb, giving his team a 1-0 lead early in the game. Dinger retired the next batter, Guthrie, for the first out of the inning. But the Morrison followed with a one-out solo blast, his second consecutive hit. The homer put the Caucasians up 2-0 and it looked like the Vaginas were about to repeat their game 3 torching of Dinger. But Dinger settled down and retired Les for the second out of the inning, as he flew out to right field.

Joey catches a flyball in right field

The Sticks had held the Caucasian rally to only two runs, but couldn’t respond in the bottom of the second. Frosty retired Joey and Vassallo in order, maintaining a shutout through two innings.

Dinger had been hit in the second inning, but he got into a groove in the top of the third, and he would not allow the Caucasians to chase him from the game for a second time in the Wiffle Series. He retired Frosty and Guthrie in order in the top of the third, starting a long streak of consecutively retired batters.

Blose grounded out to lead off the bottom of the third, and Dinger singled with one-out, only his second hit of the entire Wiffle Series to that point. Joey came to the plate able to pull the Sticks closer, but Frosty got him to ground out to left, stranding Dinger at first and ending the third inning with the score 2-0.

Frosty pitched effectively, retiring 7 of the first 8 batters he faced in Game 6

Dinger continued to roll in the top of the fourth inning. He retired Morrison, who had taken him deep earlier, for the first out of the inning, and then got Les to fly out to the mound for the second out.

Vassallo grounded out to left for the first out in the bottom of the fourth, and Sticks were having trouble cracking Frosty. Blose followed with a one-out single, his first hit of the game. Dinger came to the plate with one out and had only 2 hits in his 23 at-bats in the Wiffle Series. He had come through in the clutch for the Sticks throughout the regular season, and his soft swing, which had lifted 5 HR out of the park in 5 games in Round 1, had failed him in the Wiffle Series. But with the Sticks down 2-0, Dinger broke his cold spell and his cold, and hit a fly ball that carried over the left field fence for a two-run home run, breaking Frosty’s shutout and tying the game at 2-2. Joey came to the plate with one-out, but Frosty got him to fly out to left, ending the fourth. But the damage had been done, and the Sticks had tied the game with only two innings to play.

Fighting illness, Dinger tied the game at 2-2 with a clutch two-run homer in the fourth inning

His home run was the first runs the Sticks had scored in the past 5 innings dating back to Game 5, and Dinger was pitching as effectively as any point in the season in Game 6. He mowed through Frosty and Guthrie in order in the top of the fifth, as they both grounded out to Vassallo in left field.

The Sticks needed a run in their next at-bat and two outs in the top of the sixth to win the series, but they couldn’t break the tie in the bottom of the fifth. Vassallo singled to lead off the inning, but Blose and Dinger couldn’t drive in the go-ahead run as they were retired in order by Frosty, both by groundout.

With the score 2-2 heading into the sixth, the Caucasians continued to be frustrated by Dinger’s pitching. He retired Morrison and Les consecutively, and the Caucasians would have to stop the Sticks in the final frame and score in extra innings to extend the series.

With the sun fading and darkness setting in, the Fish Sticks were one run away from clinching the EWL title. They had won Game 5 in round 1 and Game 4 in the Wiffle Series with walk-off home runs, and would have the chance to end the Caucasians’ season with one in Game 6. But Frosty continued to retire Sticks batters, retiring Joey and Vassallo in order. The game would go to extra-innings, the third consecutive game in the Wiffle Series to advance beyond the sixth inning.

Prior to the start of extra innings, an announcement was made that the seventh inning would be the final inning played due to darkness. Either the game would end, or the game would be concluded on Thursday, August 11th with a possible Game 7 to follow. Dinger, who had retired 9 straight Caucasian batters after giving up 2 runs in the second inning, stayed on the mound for the Sticks in the seventh inning. Frosty, who had hit a home run in the second inning, would lead off the extra frame. Dinger got him to ground out to left field, and the next batter, Guthrie, flew out to Vassallo in left for the second out of the inning. Dinger had retired 11 straight batters, and the Caucasians couldn’t score a run in nearly an entire game worth of at-bats to extend the series to a seventh game.

Frosty had retired 4 out of the 5 previous batters after allowing the Sticks to tie the game in the fourth inning. He had kept the game’s best hitter, Blose, in check to that point in the game, as he was only 1-4 with a single. Frosty’s strange and variable delivery made the ball hard to track even in daylight, so with light becoming scarce, hitting became an increasingly difficult task. But if anyone in the league could do it, it would be Blose, the 2011 EWL Wiffler of the Year. With no outs, and no one on base, Blose came to the plate in what would be the final at-bat of the 2011 EWL season. Frosty delivered a pitch, and Blose, who often knew his hit would be a home run as soon as it left his bat, hit the ball hard, a high line drive to right field. He took off for first base hoping to make it safely as the Caucasians fielders approached the ball. But they wouldn’t catch it, or any others, because the ball cleared the right field fence, and the series was over.

Blose's walk-off home run in the bottom of the seventh inning clinched a Fish Sticks title

Blose had ended Game 6, the Wiffle Series, and the 2011 EWL season with a walk-off, game-winning, series-ending, championship-clinching solo home run. As he rounded the bases his teammates celebrated at home, and as he crossed the plate, they mobbed him. The Fish Sticks, underdogs entering the series, had defeated the Caucasians 3-2 in Game 6, winning the Wiffle Series 4 games to 2. The Caucasians congratulated the Sticks on their victory and watched as the Fish Sticks were presented the Championship Trophy, a 40 oz. bottle of Pabst Blue Ribbon, by 2011 EWL Manager of the Year Ron of 4 out of 5 Dentists. They each drank from the 40 oz. and celebrated the first ever EWL Championship. Blose’s walk-off homer was a fitting end to an amazing individual season, an improbable title run for the Fish Sticks, and a memorable season for all the teams in the inaugural season of the Ellsworth Wiffleball League.

Game Notes:
– Dinger pitched a complete game victory for the Fish Sticks, giving up only 2 ER on 3 hits in 7 IP. He moved to 2-1 for the Wiffle Series and 3-3 for the Postseason. Dinger’s fourth inning two-run homer tied the game at 2-2.
– Frosty took the loss for the Caucasians, giving up 3 ER on 5 hits in 6 IP. He was 0-1 in the Wiffle Series and 0-1 for the Postseason.
– Frosty and Morrison each homered for the Caucasians. Morrison led the Caucasians offensively, going 2-4 with a single, a HR, a run scored, and an RBI.
– 5 of the 6 Wiffle Series games were decided by 3 runs or less, 4 of the games were decided by 2 runs or less, and 2 of the games were decided by a single run
– Games 4, 5, and 6 were all decided in extra innings, and all 3 games ended with walk-off home runs to win the game by the home team
– After the visiting teams won Games 1, 2, and 3, the home teams won Games 4, 5, and 6
– The Caucasians outscored the Fish Sticks 21-16 in the series, mostly due to their 10-0 win in Game 3

Box Score

Caucasians Rally from Two Runs Behind in Sixth Inning to Stun Fish Sticks, Force Game 6

12 Aug

The Caucasians prepare to celebrate at home as Les and Morrison cross the plate after Les's game-winning walk-off homer

Two outs away from claiming the first ever EWL Championship, the Fish Sticks collapsed in historic fashion, as the Caucasians forced extra innings and won Game 5 with a Les walk-off home run in the bottom of the seventh inning.

The Fish Sticks had won Game 4 in dramatic fashion and were one win away from history. The inning-count had been reset after Game 4, so the Sticks put Joey back out on the mound after he had won Games 2 and 4, holding the Caucasians in check at the plate. The Caucasians had the choice to start Guthrie on the mound, but instead went to Les, who had lost Game 2 on the mound. The Caucasians, who were the favorites to win the title coming into the postseason, would need to win Game 5 to extend the Wiffle Series and their season.

Les got off to a good start in Game 5, doing what many pitchers hadn’t been able to do, retire Blose to start the game. After sending Blose down, he retired Dinger for the second out of the inning and had pitched a scoreless top of the first.

The Caucasians had hit Joey hard in the first inning of Game 4, but he also started out well in Game 5. He retired Guthrie and Morrison consecutively, and the game would be scoreless through one inning.

Joey retired 10 of the first 11 batters he faced in Game 5

Joey couldn’t translate his pitching success to the plate, however, and continued to struggle in Game 5. He was hitless in Game 4, and was fanned by Les for the first out of the top of the second. Vassallo, the hero of Game 4, flew out to Les for the second out of the inning, and the score remained 0-0.

Les was perfect through four innings on the mound, and struck out Joey in the second inning

Defense continued to prevail in the bottom of the second inning. Les flew out to the mound for the first out of the inning, and Frosty grounded out to left for the second out.

With the game tied at 0-0, Blose was retired for the first out of the inning when he grounded out to left. Frosty then made a running catch on a lazy Dinger fly ball to right field for the second out of the inning.

Frosty makes a running catch in the third inning

Guthrie led off the bottom of the third by flying out to left for the first out of the inning. The next batter, Morrison, hit a rocket into the tree, which fell into play for a single, the first hit of the game for either team. The pitchers had combined to retire the first 11 hitters of the game to that point. But the Caucasians couldn’t break the tie, as Les flew out to left, stranding Morrison at first and ending the third inning.

Les continued to dominate on the mound in the fourth. He retired Joey and Vassallo in order, and he had a no-hitter through four innings of Game 5.

Despite getting a great effort from Les on the mound, the Caucasians were unable to generate any run-support for their pitcher. Joey retired Frosty and Guthrie in order to end the fourth inning, and the game was still scoreless.

Vassallo and Joey converge on a flyball

BLose led off the top of the fifth having been retired in his previous four at-bats, extending back to Game 4. He broke the hitless streak, however, with a single to lead off the top of the fifth, the first hit of the game for the Fish Sticks. Les’s no hitter had come to an end, but he retired Dinger for the first out of the inning by getting him to groundout to right field. Blose moved to second on the play. Joey came to the plate with one out and the go-ahead runner on in scoring position. He had yet to reach base on the day in seven at-bats, but it would all change in the top of the fifth. Joey launched a blast to deep center field, a two-run homer, breaking the scoreless tie and putting the Fish Sticks up 2-0 late in Game 5. Les retired Vassallo to end the fifth, but the Fish Sticks were an inning and a half away from winning the series.

Joey's fifth inning two-run homer put the Fish Sticks up 2-0

Down 2-0, the Caucasians had four outs left in their season. Morrison grounded out to left for the first out in the bottom of the fifth, and Les followed by flying out to the pitcher’s mound to end the inning. The Caucasians were unable to plate a run through five innings.

With one inning to go, the Fish Sticks hoped to add insurance runs to their two-run lead. But Les held them in the top of the sixth, retiring Blose and Dinger in order, sending the game to the final frame.

Joey entered the bottom of the sixth two outs away from pitching complete game victories in Games 4 and 5 and clinching the title for the Fish Sticks. Through five innings in Game 5, he had given up only one hit, a single in the third inning. Only Frosty and Guthrie stood in the way of a Fish Sticks championship. Frosty had the best offensive showing in the Caucasians Game 4 loss, but was 0 for 2 heading into the bottom of the sixth. With their backs against the wall, the Caucasians responded in epic fashion. Frosty led off the bottom of the sixth with a solo home run, cutting the deficit to 2-1. He rounded the bases and fired up the troops, as the Caucasians were now a run away from tying the game.

Frosty was the catalyst for the Caucasians, sparking their incredible sixth inning rally with a home run

Joey’s shutout had ended, and he needed two outs to get out of the game with a win. The next batter, was 0 for 3, and remained hitless as he grounded out to Blose in center for the first out of the inning. Despite giving up a homer, Joey was now one out away from ending the series. Morrison, the second most dominant offensive force in the league, stepped to the plate with the season on the line. He destroyed a hanging pitch to center field, and with one swing of the bat had tied the game and saved the Caucasian Vaginas’ season. Minutes after it looked as if the trophy would be awarded to the Fish Sticks, the game was tied and the Caucasians were in position to win the game. The Sticks kept Joey on the mound despite his struggles, which continued with the next batter. Les singled with one out, and the game-winning run was on base. Frosty, who had started the rally, came to the plate with a chance to win the game. But he couldn’t deliver again, as he grounded out to left field, stranding Les at first base and ending the sixth. The Caucasians, two outs away from demise, had completed the most stunning sixth inning rally in league history, tying the game and sending Game 5 to a seventh inning.

Joey watches his pitch leave the park as Morrison's game-tying home run sails over the center field fence

After letting the Caucasians back into the game, Joey had a chance to redeem himself in the top of the seventh as he led off the inning. His two-run homer had been the only source of Fish Sticks offense to that point in the game, but he couldn’t repeat his earlier success. Les got him to ground out to Morrison in left for the first out of the inning. Vassallo singled with one out and continued to play well late in postseason games. The game’s best hitter, Blose, came to the plate with the go-ahead run on first. But Les retired Blose, as he grounded out to Frosty in right field for the second out of the inning.

The Caucasians came to the plate in the bottom of the seventh a run away from ending the game. The Sticks kept Joey on the mound, his fifteenth consecutive inning pitched dating back to Game 4. He retired Guthrie for the first out of the inning, as he grounded out to Vassallo in left field. The next batter, Morrison, who had homered to tie the game in the bottom of the sixth, singled with one out, putting the winning run on base. After mowing through Caucasian batters for five innings, the wheels fell off for Joey and the Fish Sticks with one out in the bottom of the seventh. Les, who had kept the Caucasians in the game through seven strong innings on the mound, came to the plate and hit a towering home run to left field, a two-run game-winning homer, scoring Morrison and himself, and capping one of the most legendary comebacks in league history. The Caucasians, who were two outs and two runs, and then one out and one run, away from ending their season, had stormed back to win Game 5 4-2, forcing the series to a sixth game. The Fish Sticks, who had come so close to claiming the title, would need to win Game 6 at home to avoid extending the series to Game 7 on Thursday, August 11th.

Game Notes:
– Les carried the Caucasians at the plate and on the mound. He went 2-5 with a single, a HR, 2 RBI, and the game-winning walk-off home run. He gave up only 2 ER on 3 hits in 7 IP for the complete game win. The win moved him to 1-1 for the Wiffle Series and 2-1 for the Playoffs.
– Joey took the loss for the Sticks, giving up 4 ER on 6 hits in 6.5 IP. He moved to 2-1 for the Wiffle Series and 3-1 for the playoffs. He led the Fish Sticks offensively, driving in their only runs with a two-run homer in the fifth. He was 1-4 with a HR and 2 RBI.
– Morrison also had a good game at the plate, going 3-5 with 2 singles, a HR, one RBI, and 2 runs scored.

Box Score

Vassallo Hits Three Homers, Including Walk-Off in Bottom of 8th, Puts Fish Sticks Up 3-1 in Wiffle Series

12 Aug

Vassallo's walk-off home run solidified his position as one of the most clutch EWL players, and put the Fish Sticks on the brink of a title

Led by Blose and Vassallo, the Fish Sticks came back from an early deficit to beat the Caucasian Vaginas in extra innings and pull within one game of clinching the 2011 EWL Wiffle Series Championship.

After dropping Games 1 and 2 with little offensive output, the Caucasians resurrected in Game 3 of the Wiffle Series, pounding the Fish Sticks 10-0 and putting themselves back in contention. The Caucasians surprisingly didn’t start their ace, 2011 Pitch King Guthrie in Game 3, but instead turned to Higgins who pitched a complete game shutout. With Higgins out for Week 2 of the Wiffle Series and replaced by Frosty who missed Week 1, the Caucasians went back to their proven star, starting Guthrie on the mound in Game 4. The Fish Sticks #1 starter Dinger was hit hard in Game 3, and Joey started on the mound in Game 4.

Guthrie returned to the mound in Game 4 after taking the loss for the Caucasians in Game 1

After giving up only 1 earned run in a complete game win in Game 2, Joey seemed to have the Caucasians confused. But something changed in the top of the first inning of Game 4, as the Vaginas hit Joey hard and jumped out to an early lead. Joey retired Guthrie for the first out of the inning, but then the Caucasians opened up offensively like they did in Game 3 against Dinger. Morrison clubbed a one-out solo homer, putting the Caucasians up 1-0.

Morrison rounds third after putting the Caucasians up 1-0 early

The next batter, Frosty, followed with another bomb, and the Caucasians were up two runs. Les, batting fourth for the Caucasians, followed with yet another homer, and the Caucasians had hit back-to-back-to-back home runs for the second consecutive game. The Fish Sticks were reeling early, and the Caucasians looked to be on the way to evening up the series at 2-2 and reclaiming momentum. Up 3-0 with one out, Guthrie singled to extend the rally, but Joey retired Morrison for the second out of the inning, stranding Guthrie at first and ending the first inning barrage of runs.

Les capped off first inning back-to-back-to-back home runs for the Caucasians, putting them up 3-0

Guthrie gave up two homers to Blose in Game 1, including a leadoff homer to start the Wiffle Series. Blose didn’t take him deep to start the bottom of the second, but he did single, and the Fish Sticks had a base runner hoping to reduce their early deficit. Dinger grounded out to left for the first out, pushing Blose to second on the play. With a runner in scoring position, Joey was unable to plate a run, grounding out to left for the second out of the inning.

Joey regained composure in the top of the second, retiring Frosty and Les in order for a scoreless half-inning.

Down three, the Fish Sticks showed sparks of life in the bottom of the second. Vassallo led off the inning with a solo home run, pulling the Fish Sticks within two runs. With no outs, Blose continued to scorch Guthrie, hitting a solo home run to deep right field, making the score 3-2. The Fish Sticks couldn’t match the Caucasians back-to-back-to-back homers though, as Guthrie retired Dinger and Joey in order to end the second.

Vassallo put the Fish Sticks on the board in the 2nd inning with his first of three home runs

The Caucasians still had the lead, but were unable to add to it in the to of the third. Guthrie and Morrison were retired consecutively and Joey had retired four straight batters after the disastrous first inning.

Guthrie continued to struggle in the bottom of the third, as history started to repeat itself. One inning after hitting back-to-back jacks, Vassallo and Blose did it again. Vassallo led off the inning by crushing a homer to left field, and Blose followed with another homer. Blose and Vassallo were a combined 5 for 5 at this point with 4 home runs. The Fish Sticks had regained the lead after falling behind in the first inning, and the score was 4-3. Guthrie again retired Dinger and Joey in order to get out of the inning, and the Caucasians headed into the fourth inning down a run.

Blose's second home run of the game gave the Fish Sticks a 4-3 lead, their first in Game 4

Frosty led off the top of the fourth with a single, his second hit of the game and the first Caucasian hit since the first inning. But Les and Guthrie were both retired by Joey at the mound, as Frosty was unable to advance past first base and the Caucasians still trailed.

Vassallo was finally retired in the bottom of the fourth, as he led off by grounding out to right field. Guthrie followed by retiring Blose, and he had pitched his first perfect inning of the game.

Morrison led off the top of the fifth by grounding out to left field, and the Caucasians were three outs away from dropping another game. But with one out, Frosty hit a deep solo home run, his third hit of the game, tying the game at 4-4. After cruising through the past three innings, Joey started to show signs of weakness. Les followed with a out-out single, and the next batter, Guthrie, doubled. Les was unable to score on the play, but the Caucasians had two runners in scoring position, and the go-ahead run on third base. Their best hitter, Morrison, was at the plate, but his struggles in Game 4 continued. He grounded out to left field, stranding both runners, and the game remained tied at 4-4.

Frosty rejuvenated the Caucasians with his bat and his screaming, hitting a game-tying homer in the 5th inning

Guthrie kept rolling in the bottom of the fifth, retiring Dinger and Joey in order, his fifth and sixth consecutive outs.

The game entered the final inning tied at 4-4. Despite getting hit in the fifth inning, Joey stayed in the game on the mound for the Fish Sticks. He retired Frosty and Les in order, putting the Fish Sticks a run away from winning the game in the bottom of the sixth.

The Fish Sticks couldn’t start a rally, however, as Guthrie sent Vassallo and Blose down consecutively, each by groundout, forcing the game into extra innings.

Joey continued pitching for the Fish Sticks, and he got Guthrie and Morrison to each groundout to Blose in center field in the top of the seventh.

Joey retired the final seven batters he faced in Game 4

Guthrie kept firing for the Caucasians, and he extending the game to an eighth inning after retiring Dinger in Joey in order.

Frosty led off the top of the eighth, and became the first player in league history to call himself out. With two strikes, he hit a pop fly in foul territory behind the plate. Joey raced from the mound to attempt to make the catch, and Frosty didn’t get out of the way. In a stunning act of sportsmanship, he called himself out, resulting in the first out of the inning. Joey then retired Les to end the eighth, and the Caucasians were unable to plate a run. Joey had reached his eight inning pitch limit, and the Fish Sticks would have to turn to a new pitcher if the game went to the ninth inning.

The bottom of the eighth would be Guthrie’s final inning on the mound too, two outs away from reaching his limit. But neither team would have to deal with their bullpen, as the Vassallo would cap an incredible game at the plate with his second walk-off home run in the 2011 EWL Playoffs. After taking several pitches, he hit a low-flying laser beam to left field. The fly ball would have been foul, but it clipped the lowest hanging leaf on the left field tree, making it fair. The ball hit the leaf and fell just over the fence, and Fish Sticks had won Game 3. Vassallo had hit his third home run of the game, shocking the Caucasians and uplifting the Fish Sticks. The Fish Sticks had assumed a commanding 3-1 series lead and were now one win away from clinching the championship as the series moved to Game 5 with the Caucasians at home.

Game Notes:
– Vassallo and Blose led the Fish Sticks offensively. Blose went 3-5 with 2 HR, a single, 2 runs scored, and 2 RBI. Vassallo went 3-5 with 3 HR, 3 runs scored, 3 RBI, and the game-winning hit.
– Dinger and Joey combined to go 0-10, and were the first and second outs in five of the game’s eight innings.
– Joey pitched 8 innings for the complete game victory, giving up 4 ER on 8 hits. Joey moved to 2-0 for the Wiffle Series and 3-0 in the playoffs on the mound.
– Guthrie pitched 7 innings in the loss, giving up 5 ER on 6 hits. Guthrie moved to 0-2 in the Wiffle Series and 2-2 in the playoffs.
– Frosty led the Caucasians offensively, going 3-6 with a single, 2 HR, 2 runs scored, and 2 RBI.

Box Score

Caucasians Explode Back Into Wiffle Series with 10-0 Romp in Game 3

6 Aug

Morrison and the Caucasians celebrate at home after one of their six homers in Game 3

Down two games and heading on the road, the Caucasian Vaginas had their backs against the wall heading into Game 3. Rather than fold, they erupted offensively, pounding the Fish Sticks 10-0 and pulling within a game of tying the series heading into Game 4.

The Caucasians had tried inverting their batting order in Game 2 to spark some offense, but the strategy failed. The potent Caucasians offense had scored only one run in Games 1 and 2 combined, while their Pitch King Guthrie had been shaken in Game 1. When they shuffled the lineup in Game 3, no one batted an eye, but Guthrie’s call to start Higgins ahead of himself on the mound shocked the Fish Sticks and the whole wiffleball world.

The Sticks sent Dinger to the mound fresh off his dominating shutout in Game 1. However, it didn’t take long for him to give up his first run of the Wiffle Series, as the Caucasians came out swinging in Game 3. Guthrie led off the game with a single, and the next batter, Morrison, put the Caucasians ahead right out of the gate. He crushed a two-run blast to deep leftcenter field, and the Caucasians were off and running. Dinger settled down to retire Higgins and Les and end the top of the first, but it wouldn’t be long before the Caucasians were back at it.

Morrison belts one of his three bombs en route to a record-setting offensive day

Down 2-0, the Sticks came to the plate in the bottom of the first. Higgins retired Blose, who flew out to the mound, for the first out of the inning. Dinger followed with a one-out single, his first hit of the Wiffle Series, but he was stranded at first when Higgins got Joey to ground out to Morrison in left for the second out of the inning.

The Caucasians repeated the first inning in the top of the second, as Guthrie led off with a single. With a man on first, Morrison came to the plate and hit another bomb, his second two-run homer of the game, putting the Caucasians up 4-0. Higgins followed by flying out to right field for the first out of the inning, but the Caucasian rally would continue. Les singled with one out, and Guthrie followed with his second single of the inning to put runners on first and second. The next batter, Morrison, hit a rope down the left field line. He would race to second for a double, and both Les and Guthrie would score to put the Caucasians up 6-0 through one and a half innings. Morrison had 6 RBI in his first three at-bats, setting a playoff record (that he would later break). Higgins grounded out to center for the second out of the inning, stranding Morrison at second, but the Caucasians had opened up a six run lead early.

Vassallo grounded out to lead off the bottom of the second, and Blose followed with a one-out single. But Higgins stranded the runner at second, retiring Dinger for the second out of the inning.

Up 6-0, the Caucasians stepped on the Fish Sticks throats in the top of the third. Guthrie led off the inning with a solo homer, pushing the lead to 7-0. Morrison followed with a solo homer, his third home run of the game, a playoff record, and his seventh RBI of the game, also a playoff record. With the score 8-0, Higgins came to the plate and slammed yet another solo homer, making back-to-back-to-back home runs, giving the Caucasians a 9-0 lead, and chasing the Sticks’ starter Dinger from the game. The Sticks had been shaken, and down nine runs they called Vassallo from the bullpen to make his first career appearance on the mound. He started off great, striking out Les for the second out of the inning, ending the disastrous third for the Sticks, but the damage was done.

Guthrie was relentless at the plate in Game 3, hitting two home runs and scoring five runs

The Sticks were unable to figure out Higgins, and starting in the bottom of the third he got on a roll that would last the duration of the game. He retired Joey and Vassallo in order for a perfect third inning, and the Caucasians led by nine runs through three innings.

Vassallo got a taste of the Caucasian fever in the top of the fourth, as Guthrie led off with a solo homer, his second home run and fifth hit of the game, putting the Caucasians up 10-0. He was able to shake it off, however, and retired Morrison and Higgins to end the inning.

Unable to stop the bleeding, the Sticks turned to Vassallo who made his first career pitching appearance

Higgins continued to roll in the bottom of the fourth, as Blose and Dinger were both retired by Morrison in left to preserve the shutout.

The Caucasians had their first scoreless inning of the game in the top of the fifth, as Vassallo retired Les and Guthrie in order, the first perfect inning by a Fish Sticks pitcher since Game 2.

Joey and Vassallo were sent down consecutively in the bottom of the fifth, as the Sticks were unable to put up a fight.

Higgins was a force on the mound in Game 3, giving up only 3 hits in a complete game shutout of the Sticks

Morrison flew out to Vassallo at the mound for the first out of the top of the sixth, but Higgins followed with a one-out double. The Caucasians couldn’t add to their already insurmountable lead, however, as Vassallo retired Les to end the sixth, stranding Higgins at second and sending the game to the final frame.

Down ten runs, the Fish Sticks couldn’t mound a rally at any point in the game, concluding in the bottom of the sixth. Blose doubled to lead off the inning, but Higgins stranded him at second base, retiring Dinger and Joey consecutively to end the game. After falling behind 2-0 at home, the Caucasians had stormed back on the road, sending a message that this series was far from over. The Sticks still lead 2-1 heading into Game 4, as the Caucasians will look to even the series on the road.

Game Notes:
– Higgins pitched a complete game shutout victory for the Caucasians, scattering only three hits with no runner advancing past second base
– Dinger took the loss for the Fish Sticks, giving up 9 ER on 10 hits in 2.5 innings pitched
– Vassallo gave up 1 ER on 2 hits in 3.5 innings of relief for the Sticks
– Morrison broke multiple single-game playoff records, going 4-6 with 3 HR, a 2B, 3 runs scored and 7 RBI
– Guthrie also had a record setting day at the plate, going 5-6 with 2 HR, 3 singles, 5 runs scored, and 2 RBI
– The Caucasians broke multiple single-game team playoff records in Game 3
– The visiting teams are now 3-0 in the Wiffle Series. The Caucasians were 8-2 at home during the regular season, and 2-0 at home in Round 1. The Fish Sticks were 8-2 at home during the regular season, and 2-1 at home in Round 1.

Box Score

Joey Hits Late Home Run and Stifles Caucasians On Mound to Give Fish Sticks Game 2

6 Aug

Joey led the Fish Sticks to a Game 2 win, hitting a late home run and giving up only one run in a complete game victory

Joey’s two-run homer in the top of the sixth inning put the Fish Sticks ahead as they held on to defeat the Caucasians 3-1 and take a commanding 2-0 lead in the 2011 Wiffle Series.

The Caucasians were surprised in Game 1 and looked to even the series in Game 2, sending Les to the mound. Les had pitched well in the final third of the season and won Game 2 of their first round sweep of Pumice! He started in control, retiring Blose, who had led off Game 1 with a home run, for the first out of the inning. Les then retired Dinger for the second out, throwing a scoreless first inning.

Les, who came into the Wiffle Series 1-0 on the mound, started Game 2 for the Caucasians

The Fish Sticks started Joey on the mound, hoping to ride his momentum after he earned the win in their pivotal Game 5 win over the Dentists in round 1. The Caucasians inverted their batting order from Game 1, as Higgins led off the game. He flew out to the pitcher for the first out of the inning, and the next batter, Guthrie, hit a one-out double to put a runner in scoring position. But Les was unable to advance the runner, as he flew out to the pitcher’s mound for the second out of the inning.

Les remained in command in the top of the second, as he retired Joey and Vassallo in order as both flied out.

The Caucasians finally showed signs of life in the bottom of the second. Morrison grounded out to left for the first out of the inning, but the next batter, Higgins, crushed a one-out solo home run to deep center field to give the Caucasians a 1-0 lead. It was their first lead and the first run they had scored in the series. Joey retired Guthrie for the second out of the inning, and the Caucasians led by a run through two innings.

Higgins unloaded a bomb in the bottom of the second to give the Caucasians their first lead of the series

It didn’t take long for the Fish Sticks to even the score. Les retired Blose to lead off the game, but he couldn’t do the same in the top of the third. Blose hit a solo homer to right field to tie the game at 1-1. Dinger followed with a groundout to left for the first out of the inning. The next batter, Joey, hit a towering flyball to deep left field. The ball cleared the fence, but was stuck in the tree, limiting Joey to a ground-ruled double. Vassallo came to the plate with one out, but was unable to drive in a run, as he flew out to the pitcher’s mound and the game remained tied at 1-1.

Joey retired the Caucasians in order in the bottom of the third, as Les flew out to the mound and Morrison grounded out to left field for the second out of the inning.

Les got back on track in the top of the fourth, getting Blose to fly out to the mound and Dinger to fly out to right field. The game was still tied at 1-1 through three and a half innings.

Higgings grounded out to center for the first out in the bottom of the fourth. Guthrie followed with a one-out single, but the next batter, Les, was retired for the second out of the inning, stranding Guthrie at first.

Pitching continued to roll in the top of the fifth, as Les retired Joey and Vassallo in order, each flying out to Morrison in left field.

With the game still tied, Morrison led off the bottom of the fifth with a double, his first hit of the game. The next batter, Higgins, hit a towering fly to deep center field. Blose caught the ball with his back against the fence, and Morrison, one of the faster base runners in the game, attempted to tag up and move to third. The play would have put the go-ahead runner on third base, but Blose gunned the ball to Joey at the mound in time, beating Morrison to the bag, and the Caucasians had been doubled-up for the second out of the inning. The go-ahead runner had been stranded on base.

Joey delivers a pitch with Morrison, who would be retired trying to tag-up, on second

Following his display of defensive prowess, Blose led off the top of the sixth inning with a double, putting the winning run on second base. Dinger followed by flying out to Les at the pitcher’s mound, and Blose was unable to advance. Les was an out away from escaping the inning when Joey came to the plate. He hit a two-run blast to deep left field, driving in Blose from second and giving the Fish Sticks their first lead of the game. Vassallo followed with a one-out single, and it looked as if the Sticks rally would continue with Blose coming to the plate. But Les got Blose to fly out to center field, ending the inning with the score 3-1.

The Caucasians were two outs and two runs away from being behind 2-0 in the Wiffle Series. Unfortunately, they couldn’t find an offensive spark in the bottom of the sixth. Joey retired Guthrie and Les in order, ending the game and giving the Fish Sticks a surprising two game lead in the Wiffle Series.

Game Notes:
– Joey pitched a complete game victory for the Fish Sticks, giving up 1 ER while scattering 4 hits
– Les took the loss for the Caucasians, yielding 3 ER on 5 hits
– Joey led the Sticks offensively, going 2-4 with a 2B, a HR, and 2 RBI.
– Higgins drove in the only Caucasian run with a solo homer. Guthrie went 2-4 with a double and single.
– All four of Joey’s at-bats resulted in the ball going into the left field tree. Two were caught for flyouts, one was a ground-ruled double, and one cleared the tree and the fence for a home run.

Box Score

2011 EWL Season-Ending Awards Presented

6 Aug

The winners of the EWL season-ending awards were presented plaques during the first round playoffs. The awards were voted on by all EWL players who played at least 60% of the league games and the commissioner, and were presented by the commissioner in front of the league. The winners are pictured below.

Ron, manager of 4 out of 5 Dentists, is presented the 2011 EWL Manager of the Year Award

Luke, of Pumice on Slow!, shows off his 2011 EWL Field Master Award as one of the four best defensive players in the league

Morrison, of the Caucasian Vaginas, displays his 2011 EWL Field Master Award and his 2011 All-EWL Team Award

Guthrie, of the Caucasian Vaginas, holds his 2011 All-EWL Team Award and his 2011 Pitch King Award, awarded to the best pitcher during the 2011 EWL season

Blose, of the Fish Sticks, dressed appropriately, shows off his 2011 All-EWL Team Award and his 2011 EWL Wiffler of the Year Award, presented to the most valuable player

The 2011 All-EWL Team; Blose and Joey of the Fish Sticks, and Guthrie and Morrison of the Caucasian Vaginas

(Not pictured: Vassallo, of the Fish Sticks, was a winner of the 2011 EWL Field Master Award, but was not photographed with his plaque)

Fish Sticks Surprise Caucasians Behind Blose Homers and Dinger’s Pitching to Take 1-0 Series Lead

5 Aug

Dinger gave up only three hits in a shutout of the Caucasians in Game 1, outdueling the 2011 Pitch King

The Fish Sticks handed Pitch King Guthrie his first loss of the 2011 postseason as they hit three solo home runs and Dinger pitched a shutout in a 3-0 Game 1 win.

The #2 seed Fish Sticks and #1 seed Caucasian Vaginas prepare to start the first ever Wiffle Series

Fresh off a perfect game, and having given up only one hit in 12 innings in the Caucasians’ first round sweep of Pumice on Slow!, Guthrie started Game 1 of the Wiffle Series on the mound against the Fish Sticks. It was a picture perfect matchup to begin the first ever Wiffle Series, as EWL Wiffler of the Year Blose led off the game against Guthrie. Both were members of the All-EWL team, and both had carried their teams to this moment.

Guthrie prepares to deliver the first pitch of the inaugural Wiffle Series to Blose

Guthrie had been unhittable, but Blose led off the game with a thunderclap, pounding the first pitch he swung at over the right-center field fence for a leadoff home run. The bomb put the Fish Sticks up 1-0 early and was the first run Guthrie had surrendered in the postseason. He settled down after the homer, retiring Dinger and Joey to end the inning, and the Caucasians headed into the bottom of the first inning with their first deficit in weeks.

EWL Wiffler of the Year Blose led off the Wiffle Series with a solo homer

The Fish Sticks sent Dinger to the mound to start Game 1 of the championship, and he found himself in trouble early. He retired All-EWL player Morrison for the first out of the inning, but Les followed with a one-out single. Guthrie helped himself out, hitting a double. Les was unable to score on the play, but the Caucasians had runners at second and third with one out. But Dinger and the Sticks defense buckled down, getting Higgins to groundout to left field, stranding both runners to end the first inning.

Vassallo led off the top of the second with a single, and Guthrie had given up more hits in the first four batters of the Wiffle Series than all 25 hitters in the first round. But the Sticks couldn’t move Vassallo past first, as Guthrie retired Blose and Dinger in order to end the inning.

Dinger got into a groove that lasted several innings starting with the bottom of the second. Morrison and Les were each sent down for a scoreless inning.

Up 1-0, the Sticks couldn’t add to their lead in the top of the third. Guthrie retired Joey and Adam, who each flew out, to keep the deficit at one run through two and a half innings.

Guthrie showed his first signs of weakness in Game 1, but still gave up only four hits

The Caucasians struggled to hit Dinger in the bottom of the third, as he retired Guthrie and Higgins in order.

Guthrie had retired four straight hitters, and Blose led off the top of the fourth. He got to Guthrie again, hitting his second homer of the game, putting the Sticks up 2-0. Dinger and Joey were retired to end the top of the fourth, and the Caucasians were down two runs.

Blose hit two homers in Game 1, leading the Fish Sticks offensively

Dinger kept firing in the bottom of the fourth, retiring Morrison and Les in order to maintain a 2-0 lead through four innings.

Vassallo and Blose were retired in order in the top of the fifth, and the Caucasians had four outs left to tie the game.

It didn’t happen in the bottom of the fifth, as Dinger retired Guthrie for the first out of the inning. Higgins followed with a one-out double, the first Caucasian hit since the bottom of the first inning. Morrison stepped to the plate as the tying run, but he couldn’t advance Higgins, as Dinger retired him by groundout to end the fifth inning.

Guthrie retired Dinger, the first batter in the top of the sixth, when he grounded out to left field. The next batter, Joey, extended the Fish Sticks lead to 3-0 when he hit a one-out solo home run, the third Guthrie had surrendered. Vassallo was retired to end the sixth, and the Caucasians were down three runs heading into their final at-bat.

Dinger had retired 9 of the previous 10 batters heading into the bottom of the sixth, and the Caucasians couldn’t figure him out in the final frame either. Les and Guthrie were retired in order as each flew out to Vassallo in left field, and the Fish Sticks had shut-out the Caucasians 3-0 to take Game 1 of the 2011 Wiffle Series.

Game Notes:
– Dinger pitched a complete game shutout, giving up only 3 hits and retiring 11 of the final 12 batters
– Guthrie also pitched a complete game, giving up 3 earned runs on 4 hits while taking the loss
– Blose led the Fish Sticks going 2-4 with 2 solo home runs and 2 RBI
– Les, Guthrie, and Higgins each had one hit for the Caucasians, while Morrison went hitless

Box Score