Tag Archives: Pumice on Slow

2011 EWL Season-Ending Awards Presented

6 Aug

The winners of the EWL season-ending awards were presented plaques during the first round playoffs. The awards were voted on by all EWL players who played at least 60% of the league games and the commissioner, and were presented by the commissioner in front of the league. The winners are pictured below.

Ron, manager of 4 out of 5 Dentists, is presented the 2011 EWL Manager of the Year Award

Luke, of Pumice on Slow!, shows off his 2011 EWL Field Master Award as one of the four best defensive players in the league

Morrison, of the Caucasian Vaginas, displays his 2011 EWL Field Master Award and his 2011 All-EWL Team Award

Guthrie, of the Caucasian Vaginas, holds his 2011 All-EWL Team Award and his 2011 Pitch King Award, awarded to the best pitcher during the 2011 EWL season

Blose, of the Fish Sticks, dressed appropriately, shows off his 2011 All-EWL Team Award and his 2011 EWL Wiffler of the Year Award, presented to the most valuable player

The 2011 All-EWL Team; Blose and Joey of the Fish Sticks, and Guthrie and Morrison of the Caucasian Vaginas

(Not pictured: Vassallo, of the Fish Sticks, was a winner of the 2011 EWL Field Master Award, but was not photographed with his plaque)

Pabst Blue Ribbon Pre-Game Show with Guest John of Pumice on Slow!

1 Aug

T.C., host of the PBR Pre-Game Show, interviews John of Pumice on Slow! prior to game 3 of the first round series between Pumice! and the Caucasians. They discuss the Pumice! gameplan for game 3, their opponents the Caucasians, and the EWL rules.

Guthrie Tosses Perfect Game to Send Caucasians to the Championship Series

21 Jul

Guthrie became the first player in EWL history to throw a perfect game, capping a sweep of Pumice on Slow!

A week after throwing a 1-hit shutout in Game 1 of their series against Pumice on Slow!, Guthrie threw the first perfect game in the history of the EWL in Game 3 in the most dominant single-game pitching performance the league has ever seen. The win clinched a 3-0 sweep of Pumice! by the Caucasians, and sent them to the league’s first Wiffle Series.

Pumice! needed a win to continue their 2011 season, and their best hope was their ace Gaurav, who they sent to the mound to start Game 3. It didn’t even take one batter for Pumice! to fall into the trap that had tanked games for them time and time again during the regular season. Morrison, the game’s first batter, hit a catchable ball that could have resulted in the first out of the top of the first. Instead, Morrison was safe at first, and a series of fielding and throwing errors resulted in Morrison rounding the bases for a leadoff inside-the-park home run, immediately putting Pumice on Slow! in a 1-0 hole. The next batter, Guthrie, blasted a home run to deep left field, and the Caucasians had a 2-0 lead before the first out of the game had been recorded. Frosty followed with a single, and it looked as if the Caucasians would run away with the game and the series. But Gaurav settled down, retiring Higgins and Morrison, stranding Frosty at second base, and keeping the game within reach.

Guthrie continued to bewilder Pumice! batters, retiring Luke and Gaurav in order in the bottom of the first.

Gaurav had a more routine inning in the top of the second, as he retired Guthrie for the first out of the inning. Frosty followed with his second single of the game, but Gaurav stranded him at first, getting Higgins to ground out to left for the second out of the inning.

With the score 2-0, Guthrie retired John and Holly consecutively in the bottom of the second.

The Caucasians added to their lead in the top of the third when Morrison led off the inning with his second homer of the game, putting the Vaginas ahead 3-0. Gaurav then retired Guthrie and Les in order to keep the deficit at three runs.

Pumice! couldn’t answer in the bottom of the third, as Luke and Gaurav were sent down in order.

Pumice! hitters were frustrated by Guthrie's pitching all series

Gaurav got back on track in the top of the fourth, retiring Higgins and Morrison, both by groundouts to left field.

Guthrie continued to dominate in the bottom of the fourth, as he sent down Brad and Holly to keep the score at 3-0.

Guthrie singled to lead off the top of the fifth, but Gaurav retired Les for the first out of the inning when he flew out to left field. Frosty hit a one-out single, which moved Guthrie to third, putting runners on the corners with one out for Morrison. Morrison could have effectively ended the game with a big hit, but Gaurav got him to groundout to centerfield, stranding both runners and keeping hope alive for Pumice!

Pumice! couldn’t figure out Guthrie, however, as he continued to mow down hitters, retiring Luke and Gaurav in order to end the fifth.

Up 3-0 and down to their final at-bat, the Caucasians added insurance runs in the top of the sixth. Guthrie flew out to left for the first out of the inning, but Les and Frosty followed with back-to-back solo homers, giving the Caucasians a 5-0 lead. Gaurav retired Higgins for the second out of the inning, and Pumice! would need 5 runs in the bottom half of the sixth to keep their season alive.

Frosty was a perfect 4 for 4 with a home run in the Caucasians 5-0 victory

Frosty was a perfect 4 for 4 with a home run in the Caucasians 5-0 victory

Heading into the bottom of the sixth, word has spread on the sidelines that Guthrie had a chance to throw the league’s first ever perfect game. At this point he had already gone the deepest into a game any pitcher had without giving up a hit. Brad grounded out to left for the first out of the inning, and Guthrie was one out away from perfection. The final batter was John, who took a series of pitches and fouled a few off. After several pitches, he finally hit a liner to left. Les had some trouble handling the ball at first, but eventually snagged it just in time to retire John. Guthrie had ended the series, sweeping Pumice on Slow! with a perfect game, retiring all 12 batters in order. He dominated Pumice! throughout the course of the game, frustrating them with his ClawBall as they repeatedly couldn’t make solid contact. The Caucasians had won 5-0, and advanced to the championship series, as they awaited the finale of the other series to see who they would play.

Guthrie displays the autographed game ball of his perfect game

Game Notes:
– Pumice! had three chances to break up the no-hitter, the closest call coming in the top of the fifth when Gaurav crushed a pitch to deep left, but it hit the tree and Morrison caught it for an out.
– Guthrie has now given up only 1 hit and no earned runs in 12 innings in the 2011 playoffs.
– Morrison went 2 for 5 with 2 HR and 2 RBI and Frosty went 4 for 4 with 3 singles, 1 HR, and 1 RBi to lead the Caucasians offensively.
– Pumice! ended their season in disappointing fashion, but they played hard until the final out and were great representatives of the EWL.

Box Score

Three Teams Represented as 2011 EWL Field Masters are Named

16 Jul

The 2011 EWL Field Masters

Luke of Pumice on Slow!, Blose and Vassallo of the Fish Sticks, and Morrison of the Caucasians Vaginas have been named the 2011 EWL Field Masters, an award that recognizes the best defensive players throughout the EWL regular season. These four players played top-notch defense consistently throughout the season, racked up the top four put-out totals, and made the biggest impact for their team in the field.

Luke of Pumice on Slow! was the top vote-getter among Field Masters

Luke was the top vote-getter, finishing 2nd place in league voting by a single vote, and moving to first in overall voting after the commissioner vote. Luke tied for the most first-place votes, and his combination of 7 first and second place votes was the most in the league. Luke finished fourth among fielders in put-outs with 70, averaging 4.3 put-outs per game. He was typically deployed in leftfield for Pumice!, and has the single game league record of 12 put-outs in one game. He routinely made catches out of the tree, scarfed up ground balls, and made difficult fly ball catches in fair and foul territory. He played the ball off the fence incredibly well, and could get to balls quickly enough to retire even the fastest base runners. He was the bright spot on an often shaky Pumice! defense.

Blose of the Fish Sticks led the EWL in put-outs and spectacular plays

Blose led league voting by one vote, and 2nd in overall voting after the commission vote. He tied Luke for most first-place votes and also tied for most overall league votes. Blose led the league in put-outs, setting a single-season record with 96, averaging 4.8 put-outs per game. He often played centerfield for the Fish Sticks, where he captained the Sticks defensive unit. He alone made 3 or 4 of the top 5 defensive plays of the year throughout the league. He showed great range, running to catch fly balls in left, center, right, or the infield, and backed up his teammates, occasionally catching balls they attempted to catch or had missed. He snatched balls off the fence for outs, made one-handed snags of line drives, and was a constant reassurance for the Fish Sticks pitching staff.

Morrison of the Caucasian Vaginas helped lead his team to the fewest RA and lowest ERA

Morrison finished 3rd in league voting and also 3rd after the commissioner vote. Morrison had the most 2nd and 5th place votes, and tied Blose for most overall league votes. Morrison finished second in put-outs with 91, and tied Blose for second in the league by averaging 4.8 put-outs per game. He and Blose went neck-and-neck for the league lead in put-outs throughout the season. Morrison played leftfield for the Caucasians, and was the anchor of the Caucasian defense. He directed where the fielders would be positioned, and regularly called off his teammates on fly balls, sure that he would make the snag. He made difficult catches look easy, and could read the flight of the ball better than any other player in the EWL. If errors and fielding % were stats in the EWL, he would have led the league, as he rarely misplayed or mishandled a ball. He helped lead the Caucasians to the lowest runs-allowed and team ERA thanks to his consistency in the field.

Vassallo of the Fish Sticks had the highest put-outs per game average in the EWL

Vassallo finished 4th in league voting and also 4th after the commissioner vote. He finished with the most third place votes, and second among first-place vote-getters. Vassallo finished third in put-outs with 80, leading the league with an average of 5.0 put-outs per game. He started every game he played in leftfield for the Fish Sticks, and likely would have led the league in put-outs if not for missing several games. He read the ball off the fence, whether in the air or on the ground, better than any player in the league, and he caught balls out of the tree with ease. His range extended far into foul territory, as he tracked and ran down fly balls that most players in the league couldn’t get to. No balls got beyond him, and on the few balls he had trouble with, he kept them in front of him, limiting extra-base hits. He was smart and conservative with the ball, often running it in to the pitcher, preventing the opponent from taking bases.

The league and commissioner voting coincided to select four Field Masters that clearly had more votes than any of the other candidates. Les of the Caucasian Vaginas and Marr of 4 out of 5 Dentists (who received the 5th place commissioner vote) were in a second tier of candidates that separated themselves from the pack in terms of voting. Six candidates finished with 11 votes or less. 4 out of 5 Dentists was the only team not represented by the Field Masters, despite having 4 players finish in the top 12 in voting.

Caucasians Hold Off Late Pumice! Rally to Take Commanding 2-0 Series Lead

14 Jul

Les pitched a complete game win and went 2-4 with a HR in Game 2

Les pitched a complete game win as the Caucasians weathered the storm to top Pumice on Slow! 4-3 in Game 2 of their series.

Les, who came into the game having thrown 10 consecutive scoreless innings, three shy of tying the record, added to his streak in the top of the first when he retired Luke and Gaurav in order.

Staff ace Gaurav started on the mound for Pumice!, and he matched Les in the bottom of the second by retiring Frosty and Morrison consecutively.

With the game scoreless, Les notched another inning on his belt in the bottom of the second, as Brad and John were sent down in order.

The Caucasians got the first hit of the game in the bottom of the second, when Guthrie led off with a solo homer, making the score 1-0. Les made back-to-back homers when he crushed a solo shot of his own, extending the Vaginas lead to 2-0. Frosty singled to keep the rally going, but Gaurav settled down, retiring Morrison and Guthrie to strand the runner at first.

Down two runs, Pumice! got on the board for the first time in the series, ending Les’s scoreless inning streak and cutting the Caucasian lead in half. Luke, who had been robbed by the tree earlier, hit solo homer to make the score 2-1. Les then got both Gaurav and Brad to fly out to the mound, ending the top of the third.

Gaurav retired Les and Frosty in order in the bottom of the third, holding the Pumice! deficit to a single run.

Les got back on track in the top of the fourth, as John and Luke were retired in order.

Higgins entered the game for Morrison in the bottom of the fourth, and he made an immediate impact. He led off the bottom of the fourth with a home run, pushing the score to 3-1. Guthrie followed by flying out for the first out of the inning, and after a one-out Les single, Gaurav got Morrison to ground out for the second out of the inning, stranding the runner.

With the deficit back at two runs, Gaurav led off the top of the firth with a solo homer, making the score 3-2. The next batter, Brad, singled, putting the tying runner on base with no outs. But Pumice! couldn’t move the runner, as John and Luke were retired in order, ending the top half of the inning.

Just like he did in the fourth, Higgins led off the bottom of the fifth with his second consecutive homer, putting the Caucasians back up two runs at 4-2. Gaurav then retired Frosty and Les in order to send the game to the sixth inning.

With the score 4-2, Pumice! needed two runs to tie the game. They got one when the first batter of the inning, Gaurav, hit a solo home run, his second in as many at-bats. The bomb cut the score to 4-3. The Caucasians discussed going to the bullpen, but decided give Les a chance to close out the game. And that is what he did, as Brad and John each flew out to end the game, giving the Causcasians the 4-3 win and a 2-0 lead in the best of five series.

Game Notes:
– Gaurav gave up 4 runs on 6 hits, and took the loss for Pumice!
– Gaurav carried Pumice! offensively, going 2 for 4 with 2 HR and 2 RBI
– Higgins hit HR in both of his at-bats in this game
– Les got the complete game win, giving up 3 ER on 4 hits

Box Score

Guthrie Baffles Pumice! as Caucasians Storm to 7-0 Win in Game 1

14 Jul

Guthrie nearly no-hit Pumice on Slow! in his first playoff start, a 7-0 win

Guthrie allowed only 1 hit in a near no-hitter as the Caucasians easily defeated Pumice on Slow! to take a 1-0 lead in their best-of-five series.

Morrison recorded two put-outs in the top of the first, as Guthrie retired Brad and Luke in order

John started on the mound for Pumice!, and he began strong, retiring Frosty and Morrison for a scoreless bottom half of the first.

Guthrie picked up where he left off in the top of the second, retiring Gaurav and John in order to keep the game scoreless.

Carrying his momentum to the plate, Guthrie led off the bottom of the second with a double. He remained at second when Les flew out for the first out of the inning, but he scored when the next batter, Frosty, hit a two-run blast to put the Caucasians up 2-0. Morrison extended the lead to 3-0, when he hit a back-to-back homer, a solo shot. John then got Guthrie to fly out for the second out of the inning.

Brad grounded out to left for the first out of the top of the third, and with one out, Luke doubled for the one and only hit Pumice! would get in Game 1. Guthrie stranded Luke at second when Gaurav flew out to left to end the inning.

The Caucasians couldn’t add to their lead in the bottom of the third, as John retired Les and Higgins in order.

Guthrie was again unhittable in the top of the fourth, as John and Brad were sent down by fly-out consecutively.

After Morrison flew out for the first out of the bottom of the fourth, the Caucasians went on a one-out rally to increase their lead. Guthrie and Les each singled to put runners on first and second, and Higgins doubled, scoring Guthrie and putting two runners in scoring position at second and third. Up 4-0, Morrison doubled on a fielding error, driving in both runners. Guthrie flew out, stranding Morrison at second, but the three run inning put the Caucasians up 6-0 through four.

Luke grounded out for the first out of the top of the fifth, and then Guthrie fanned Gaurav for the second out.

Les led off the bottom of the fifth with a solo homer, his second hit of the game, which extended the Caucasian lead to 7-0. They couldn’t add to the seven run lead though, as Higgins and Frosty were retired to end the fifth.

Down to their last at-bat and needing seven runs to forces extras, John and Brad were retired in order to end the game. Guthrie’s one-hitter gave the Caucasians a 7-0 Game 1 win over Pumice!

Game Notes:
– John gave up 7 ER on 8 hits and took the loss for Pumice!
– Morrison led the Caucasians offensively, going 2 for 4 with a HR, a double, and 3 RBI

Box Score

Les Nearly No-Hits Pumice on Slow! in 2-0 Shutout

7 Jul

Frosty hit a solo home run driving in one of the two runs in a 2-0 Caucasian win

Pumice on Slow! only managed one hit against Les as he pitched a complete game in a 2-0 win for the Caucasians.

John started on the mound for Pumice! and continued to pitch well, as he has for most of the second half of the season. He pitched a routine top of the first, getting both the Rat and Frosty to fly out.

Les picked up where he left off from week 9, when he pitched four shutout innings in another Caucasian victory. He retired Brad and Gaurav in order in the bottom of the first to keep the game scoreless.

Morrison led off the top of the second with the first hit of the game, a single. Morrison moved to second when Les grounded out to left field for the first out of the inning, but John was able to strand him in scoring position when Rat grounded out to the mound for the second out.

Les pitched a perfect bottom of the second, retiring John and Holly in order.

With the score tied at zero, Frosty led off the top of the third with a mammoth solo blast to dead left field, putting the Caucasians up 1-0. Morrison followed with a one-out double. But John stranded him at second again, as he fanned Les for the first out of the inning and got the Rat to fly out to deep left field.

Down 1-0, Brad flew out to left for the first out of the bottom of the third. Gaurav followed with a one-out single. Unfortunately for Pumice!, this turned out to be their only hit of the entire game. The next batter, John, grounded out to the pitcher’s mound to end the inning.

Frosty flew out to start the top of the fourth, and after a Morrison single, Les grounded out to left for the second out.

Les retired Holly for the first out of the bottom of the fourth. Brad followed with a deep fly ball to right field, and the Rat adjusted his headpiece before making the spectacular grab for the second out of the inning.

The Rat couldn’t get it going at the plate though, as John retired him for the first out of the inning in the top of the fifth. Frosty grounded out for the second out to keep the score 1-0.

Luke and John were retired in order in the bottom of the fifth, as Pumice! remained scoreless.

Morrison doubled to lead off the top of the sixth inning, his fourth hit in as many at-bats. Les grounded out to left field, but Morrison motored around third to home, scoring on the play and extending the Caucasians lead to 2-0. John then got the Rat to fly out to the mound for the second out of the inning.

Pumice! needed two runs to extend the game in the bottom of the sixth, but Les got Holly to ground out to the Rat for the first out, then fanned Brad to end the game, giving the Caucasians a 2-0 win.

Game Notes:
– Morrison led the Caucasians on offense, going 4 for 4 with 2 doubles, 2 singles, and a run scored
– John pitched well, giving up 2 runs on 5 hits, but took the complete game loss

Box Score